News Flash: Adopted Kids Are Bitter, Vengeful and Murderous


Didn’t get the memo?  No worries.

The new Avengers movie lays it out for you.  Loki, the Big Bad, is adopted, which explains why he killed 80 people in 2 days.  Phew.  Thank goodness that’s settled.

C’mon, Joss.  Really?

You gave us high school as hell in Buffy, warned of technology’s dark side in Dollhouse, and explored the costs of chemical warfare in Firefly.  Big ideas with snappy dialogue is your thing.

In other words, I expected better.

While the audience chuckled, I fumed for the rest of the movie.  Why?  Because it’s an easy joke that plays to a common stereotype. Why not make a crack about Nick Fury being in a gang (‘cause he’s BLACK!).  Or Black Widow being a ho (cause she’s a CHICK!).

Loki is not a murderer because he’s adopted, Joss.

He’s just batsh** crazy.

Am I equally crazy for being angry over a throwaway line in a summer movie?  Nope.  A few key words on Google pulled up a slew of commentary including the following:

“I’ve read from other sources that some oversensitive adoptive parents have a problem with that line. I’ll take that hit. I may be oversensitive about it, but you know what? As an adoptive parent, it’s my job to be sensitive to it. It’s part of the gig.”
– Of Masks and Men

“Think about what that one dismissive little line says: ‘He’s adopted.’ In other words, it’s not Thor’s fault that Loki is such a jerk. Loki’s not a real member of the family.”

“The joke in “The Avengers” just confirms for children waiting for adoption their perception that they are unwanted, unlovable, or different.”
– DRBethRobinson

“…a lot of people are calling the line what it is:  a needless, throwaway, out-of-character joke at adoptive families’ expense.  They’re bothered by it, and they’d prefer the line not be in the movie.  They’re also surprised that a writer with an ear like Joss’ didn’t catch the negatives of this line, and they’re criticizing him for that.”
– The Backfile

“I guess it would be cool if we could all give those seemingly simple one-liners a second look, and that goes for all movies and stereotypes. How does that joke make others feel? Is that joke necessary? What message is this movie sending? What positive conversations can we have from this?”
Embracing the Odyssey

No matter where words are spoken, they have power when they are heard.

Even in a Marvelous universe.
Even in an ordinary world.

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill.”
– Buddha (Hindu Prince Gautama Siddhartha, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.)


The Tin Man Cometh

Last October, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA).  So basically my knees are shot.

This came on the heels of a wicked case of shingles, which came on the heels of a failed adoption in which we had an infant boy for 3 days until the birth mother changed her mind.

We joked – because gallows humor is the only way we could navigate the ups and downs of the adoption process – that her deception had literally brought a pox upon her house.   She had lied to her family about not being pregnant; lied to us about having her family’s support; and lied to herself about wanting to follow thru with an adoption plan.


On my more enlightened days, I am happy that we were able to serve as the means through which she could discover how much she wanted to keep her son.   But bodhisattva is just a place I visit, rather than stay,  and the experience left its mark on our entire family, including this 40 – cough-cough-nevermind-what’s-after – body.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say the RA was stress-induced.

I went into treatment thinking I could rid myself of the disease.  But after several months, we have reached a détente.  I am, in fact, quite grateful for the changes it has inspired.

I now swim 3 times a week where I am regularly lapped by the entire cast of Cocoon.  I follow a strict (ish) gluten-free, dairy-free and sugar-free diet.  And I listen very closely to my body’s early warning system.  Lord knows, she can be a real bitch when she’s ignored.  I fear one day she’ll show up in the kitchen with a half-boiled rabbit in the pot, then I realize that I’m talking about myself and that scenario would be myself seeing myself, which is all kinds of crazy – especially since it involves me in a kitchen, which is a room I only frequent on my way to the back door.

(Fortunately, Lori cooks.)

As I told a good friend a few weeks ago, everyone has their baggage.  You can either struggle with the load or drag it gracefully beside you.

I’m going for the dignified limp.